Brainharm

Golden Oldies: Banana Man

2009-07-19T21:14:00.001-05:00

The Internet interprets Harm as a banana and attempts to eat it.

Music: "Banana Man" - Tally Hall
Director: Joe Hawley

Doesn't Behave Like Other Mammals

2009-07-18T21:10:00.000-05:00

So we concluded that they must be a kind of virus.

Music: "Ruler of Everything" - Tally Hall
Director: Sean Donnelly

Repair Ticket # 347-b-9

2009-07-17T22:42:00.000-05:00

Music: "Junior Kickstart" - The Go! Team

Client claims compact martial artists were lost in the mail. Applied keywords for, and restored diminutive glory to, tiny ninjas.
Client could not tell one space rabbit researcher from the next. Assigned tags to space bunnies.
Earth Defense Freshmen kept mixing their uniform colors in the wash. Labeled personalized washing machines with tags in the Fresh Fortune Fortress.
Client complains that stop-motion won't start. Told client the effect could be simulated by showing a sequence of slightly different images in rapid succession. Added meta tags.

Hyperfloral Supermurder

2009-07-16T21:03:00.000-05:00

Video: "Neighbors" - Norman McLaren
Music: "Uh Oh" - DEE

Your Psychic Friend

2009-07-15T19:20:00.000-05:00

Can you tell that I like disturbing infomercials?

Crayon Bunnies

2009-07-14T19:18:00.001-05:00

It's The 70's Again and/or 80's Again

2009-07-13T18:27:00.006-05:00

Don't try to call your old dealer: you have Brainharm this time.

Music: "Immigrant Song" - Led Zeppelin (1970)
Video: Clips of Ramayan (Indian mythological sitcom, 1987-88)

Are there going to be any games?

2009-07-10T18:03:00.003-05:00

FISH BEAT! Doof Doof Spoosh

No one is implying that all Mexican strippers are hairy. I think Data just likes them that way. He can afford that, because he is a robot with gold for blood. Brainharm supports diversity in space.

Finally You're Becoming Human

2009-07-08T19:24:00.000-05:00

"Story from North America"
Music / Voices - Garrett Davis
Video - Kirsten Lepore

I drink your milkshake.

2009-05-19T10:47:00.000-05:00

I drink your president.

2009-05-18T10:29:00.007-05:00

The link is much weaker once I actually see them side by side. However, during the election season, I just found it funny that Pepsi saw it fit to switch from the abstract swirl that served the brand for decades to a red, white, and blue composition that also resembles a landscape. Apparently, I was not the only one loopy enough to grasp onto this tenuous link.

Maximum Social Media Hate: Crackdown on Twitter

2009-05-15T20:55:00.001-05:00

Maximum Social Media Hate: Into the Twittersphere

2009-05-14T20:54:00.000-05:00

Maximum Social Media Hate: Facebook Dinosaurs

2009-05-13T20:50:00.001-05:00

Hall of Shame: Clown Town

2009-05-08T17:41:00.001-05:00

America's music rights: REVOKED!

93 points deducted for poor rhyming.
31 points deducted for repeating rhymes.
12 points deducted for visuals mismatched with lyrics.
108 points deducted for washed-up actors kissing creepy clowns.
1 point awarded for not matching thoughts of violence against clowns with a poorly-rhymed, grisly murder scene.
7 points, Manchester United.

Video & Music: "Clowny Clown Clown" - Crispin Glover

Drum Machine

2009-05-07T21:15:00.000-05:00

Video: "Drum Machine" - Tokyo Plastic and The Sancho Plan

It's Just a Ring

2009-05-06T21:11:00.003-05:00

Those prone to seizures should not view The One Ring

A Real Cat

2009-04-30T23:32:00.001-05:00

A Fatal Dose of Whimsy

2009-04-17T17:32:00.001-05:00

I found the brown envelope to be deeply surprising.

Video : "A Wolf Who Loved Pork" - Takeuchi Taijin

Caaarrrll

2009-04-13T21:41:00.002-05:00

I'm reading this book about the Monster of Florence by Douglas Preston. The Monster was never caught, but he was not a llama and did not eat hands.

Billy Chow -v- A Horse

2009-04-12T11:32:00.002-05:00

Fear Beyond Reason: Serious Business

2009-04-09T20:15:00.000-05:00

Grab Onto Our Tongues

2009-04-08T20:11:00.002-05:00

Who is ready for the latest episode of Charlie the Unicorn

Warning: Goat's head appears on dolphin's body.

Miit Choom Muralom Hup Hupravo

2009-03-10T21:39:00.004-05:00

Miit Choom Muralom Hup Hupravo

Verisa Falowit Ralom dita Hupravo

Verisa Falowit Ralom hup Choom Hupravo

Verisa Falowit Ralom dita Hupravo

ditum, Ralom

ditum, Ralom

Ralom

Video: "Alice in Wonderland" - Disney

Music: "Wonderland" - Pogo

Please Say Something

2009-03-02T17:11:00.006-06:00

Evidently the animator had issues with his father, and with Tom and Jerry.

Two points deducted for overuse of might-have-been-flash-forwards. Two points awarded for two dream sequences with a scary mouse head in each. Three points to Griffindor for solving the case of the Howling Measles.

Video: "Please Say Something" - David O'Reilly

Synth Lives on Brainharm

2009-01-31T13:29:00.003-06:00

Also, BASIC is the devil.

Open your copybooks to page Q for this extra-credit session:

Permission to Freak

2009-01-28T20:10:00.003-06:00

How is it that everything after the early 90s somehow ends up as a rap?

France's Music Rights: REVOKED

Music & Video: "Mephistopheles" - Puppet Mastaz

Artist Focus II: Paul Rayment

2009-01-13T12:23:00.001-06:00

Animation: "All I Want for Christmas.." - Paul Rayment
Music: "Merry Christmas to You" - Nat King Cole

Artist Focus: Paul Rayment

2009-01-12T12:19:00.000-06:00

Animation: Paul Rayment
Music: "Drygioni" - Super Furry Animals

Robot Munchies

2009-01-11T20:35:00.000-06:00

No Wait Let Me Start Over

2009-01-10T22:36:00.000-06:00

I tried to make something like this, but all I got was dizzy.

Animator: Kristofer Strum
Music: "Hitchhiker's Choice" - Minilogue

Strange Shapes Disturb Slumber

2009-01-09T22:32:00.000-06:00

Animator: Kristofer Ström
Music: "Animals" - Minilogue

Golden Oldies: Hillbilly Witchcraft

2009-01-08T22:09:00.000-06:00

Regular readers may remember this video from its less-than-a-week run on BH. I pulled it because the bit at the beginning with the narrator and the cow bothered me. I could not tell if the narrator says "Black (Nylon) Hose", or if he meant to say "Black (Angus, as in cow) Hoes". Racist? Not likely? In the end, its all too strange to matter.

Video and Music: "Hillbilly Witchcraft" - Friend of a Friend Films

Bacon Makes It Better

2009-01-07T22:04:00.003-06:00

You can skip to 00:46 for the kissing scene.

Pervert.

Fear Beyond Reason: Cats as Toy Planes

2009-01-06T22:00:00.002-06:00

I don't understand why this is happening.

Don't Touch

2008-12-05T20:10:00.003-06:00

I wonder how long that winged pig stayed alive?

Video: "Don't Touch", Dice Productions

I'm Off to Eat Someone's Parents

2008-12-04T19:33:00.004-06:00

Does he mean to eat only individuals that have produced offspring, or is he going to eat all the tigers based on their future prospects of having babies? hmm..

Video: Volvic Revive TV Ad

Election 2008: Not Election 2008: The End

2008-11-13T18:28:00.000-06:00

Stop-motion animation is my anti-drug.

Music: Honkin' On My Crack Pipe - Paul Steel
Video: Andy Martin

Election 2008: Son of Election 2008

2008-11-12T18:31:00.003-06:00

Just so you guys know, I support Obama. What appears below is a joke.

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

Video: Get Your War On, New World Order

Election 2008: Rise of the Machines: Rhino Escape

2008-11-11T18:11:00.000-06:00

The Tokyo Zoo is conducting tests for a filibuster-proof Congress. Cardboard may not be appropriate armor against sleep darts. Banging sticks on feed buckets seems to scare Republicans away.
A dart gun counts as a machine, I guess.

Election 2008: Rise of the Machines: Another Subtitle

2008-11-10T18:06:00.001-06:00

Wagga wagga wagga wagga wagga

Haruki Nakamura explains the inner workings of the Obama Campaign. This is the one that is going to blow your mind.

Election 2008: Better Late Than Never

2008-11-08T17:54:00.001-06:00

Repair Ticket # 000001

2008-10-10T20:49:00.003-05:00

10 Oct 2008

Shortly after answering call to have metadata and tags installed in Cell Phone Quest, received emergency call from the Claims Adjuster Damacy post reporting missing ball of things. Ball of things was recovered rolling around Wall Street, where it was attempting to gather enough slow moving traders that had been weakened by the economic climate so that it could ignite them to form a tiny star. Returned to Brainharm and secured with chock. Added metadata and tags after spheroid was confirmed to remain stationary.

Germany is a widely underrated source of harm. This is to set the record straight: Germany has full brainharm capability.
Video and Music: LOL, Internet - JCO (Jakob Bienenhalm)

Hey guys look at me I am a birdlike dinnerbell.

2008-09-22T22:31:00.003-05:00

Your banjotudes don't carry any Jerry sauce in this part of town, jive turkey!

Cartoon by Vincent Collins for our nation's bicentennial. Don't be a square, man: Register to vote if you haven't already!

Frog Jar

2008-09-11T21:17:00.000-05:00

This is from a standup routine, but it is mostly confusing.

Music Special: Appendix A

2008-09-10T21:29:00.001-05:00

I repaired the "Frontier Psychiatrist" post without your permission and may gypsies dance on your grave.

Music: Remind Me - Royksopp

Fin.

Music Special: Dodecahedral Surprise Ending

2008-09-09T23:02:00.002-05:00

I fixed the "Imaginary Nixon" post against all advice to the contrary. I'm not sorry that I didn't ask you first.

If any of you know about an anime / Japanese cartoon about a scientist with four or five brains stacked in his (cone) head that builds and/or fights giant robots with lasers in their mouths, leave a comment. I had a video of that and they took it down. I think there is also a girl on a giant bird in the mix somewhere. If you leave a comment with a correct answer and a link to the youtube, then you will get 7000 extra credit points.

The end?

Music Special: Double Surprise Ending

2008-09-08T22:39:00.001-05:00

I restored the "Daicon IV" post without being asked. Wasn't that nice of me?

NOBODY HAD BETTER TRY TO STEAL MY F*CKING KOOLAID IF THEY DON'T WANT TO BE LASER-SWORD CHOPPED!

I can say with 90% confidence that this is the end of the Music Special

Music Special: Surprise Ending

2008-09-07T22:25:00.003-05:00

I restored the "Hobbits" post without being asked. Wasn't that sweet of me?

I am pretty sure this is the end of this Music Special.

Music Special: Fish Heads - Barnes and Barnes

2008-09-06T22:20:00.002-05:00

We end this Special up with a Golden Oldie...

Music Special: Honking Antelope - Serj Tankian

2008-09-05T22:18:00.000-05:00

Music Special: Slapped on Other Planets

2008-09-04T22:16:00.000-05:00

Music: New Order - True Faith

Music Special: Land of Confusion - Genesis

2008-09-03T22:15:00.000-05:00

Music Special: The Talking Horse - Melvins

2008-09-02T22:10:00.002-05:00

Zombie businessman hate clay floaty man!

Russian Zombies

2008-09-01T22:04:00.004-05:00

There has been a gap in posting lately, so I think you know what that means. A weird storm has been gathering, and like a festering pustule filled with beetles' eggs, it is chewing its way out from under the skin of your web browser and into your very mind! I think that you have guessed it: It's time for another Music Special! (BTW: I don't usually plan them like this, but it always turns out I find a bunch of music videos after neglecting BH for a while.)

Music by ANJ, title unkown

8 Bit Brainwashing

2008-08-30T22:26:00.002-05:00

I cannot vouch for this video's description stating that this supposed 'advertisement' being anything other than a cruelly kid-centric prophesy of our eventual robotic enslavement.

Series: Return to Supermans

2008-08-08T20:53:00.000-05:00

Self Study: You Suck at Photoshop

2008-08-06T21:00:00.003-05:00

You guys should really check out this series; "You Suck at Photoshop". Even if you never had any intention to exploit Photoshop for lulz or illegal gain, each episode is a cherished trainwreck of candid pain that is a little too fun to watch. Come for the Photoshop tips and stay for the sad ending!

Your Terrible Cube World

2008-08-03T21:51:00.000-05:00

Choppa Choppa

2008-07-30T17:34:00.001-05:00

Boots free us from bonds

2008-07-29T18:24:00.000-05:00

Today Is Yellow Cow Freedom Day

2008-07-28T17:31:00.001-05:00

Traditional Estonian Meat Chant

2008-07-27T22:54:00.001-05:00

Japan Develops Devastating Atmospheric Superweapon Powered By Game Show Contestants

2008-07-17T21:20:00.003-05:00

Dr. Okaido Hashimitsigura demonstrates the concept for the new superweapon, followed by rare footage of its construction.

The weapon is deployed, to deadly effect.

Show me your moves

2008-06-17T22:07:00.002-05:00

Man in Horned Mask: I've abandoned my spacecar by mistake, it was foolhardy of you to do so knowingly!
Captain Falcon: FALCON PUNCH!!
Man in Spacecar: I hope what you are doing does not blow up this part of the galaxy, because I'm just over here in the other lane, jackass.

Forest Ninja

2008-06-15T15:27:00.002-05:00

Forest Ninja sounds more like an itinerant tree hugger, but since he has so little competition I don't think anyone is going to call him on it.

This is for an English Class

2008-06-13T23:58:00.002-05:00

Just you wait 'till I accumulate some mad mass and roll over all y'all!

I was trying to think of an era or time in history when wearing a bright white cloak in broad daylight might have been considered sneaky. A sheep farm? A cotton field? The Arctic? (Scratch the last one, freezing to death is disqualification.)

Cathy's House

2008-05-28T23:23:00.001-05:00

This may have seemed to devolve into a bizarre and denigrating catfight, but then there's dancing!

In Soviet Russia, Beat Drops YOU!

2008-05-19T19:59:00.001-05:00

Continuing the theme of b-boys wearing clothing inappropriate to their craft...

Golden Oldies: We Know Something

2008-05-12T23:12:00.002-05:00

Continuing the theme of dancing animals:

In new guidelines set forth by Large Animal Costume Licensing Board, persons wishing to purchase or operate Large Animal Costumes must now demonstrate competency, proficiency, and otherwise mad skillz in the areas of breakdancing and rhyme-busting. Applicants receiving a grade of "chump" or lower on an official LACLB proctored exam are encouraged contemplate the overwhelming flyness of DJ Format and Jurassic 5 before attempting the exam next year.

Dancing Animals in Love

2008-05-08T22:20:00.001-05:00

Continuing the theme of colorful singing animals...

I don't know about that thing at the end, either.

Golden Oldies: Charlie the Unicorn

2008-05-06T18:18:00.004-05:00

I know this one is very old and watched thousands of times, but I have really been enjoying this as of late.

Have your bonana at the ready for Episode 2.

Translation of the Spanish portion at 2:13 (from creator's website filmcow.com):
Pastel Blue: [Spanish] The man with the hat sent us!
Pastel Pink: [Spanish] He told us many amazing stories!
Zeta: [Blinks and flashes]
Pastel Unicorns: [Boisterous laughter]
Charlie: What?
Pastel Pink: [Spanish] Tonight we dine on turtles!
Pastel Blue: [Spanish] So good, they will be!
Zeta: [Klaxon and laser-fire]
Charlie: Gah, what did you two do?
Pastel Unicorns: Zeeeeeeee!
Pastel Blue: [Spanish] I am happy!
Zeta: [Blinks and flashes]
Pastel Unicorns: [Boisterous laughter]

Dancing Robots!

2008-05-02T20:16:00.002-05:00

I would like to present this monument to the collected free time of the nation of Japan.

Click on Finder

2008-04-28T19:34:00.000-05:00

Frangible Place

2008-04-17T12:45:00.000-05:00

Boom

2008-04-16T12:10:00.000-05:00

Bambee

2008-04-15T12:07:00.001-05:00

This is tasteless and dumb, but of good technical quality when it comes to Flash films.

Let's Get a Shout Out

2008-04-11T07:33:00.001-05:00

There Will Be Several Dogs

2008-04-01T19:00:00.002-05:00

Hey you guys I forgot a Valentines Day special this year...

This one is for everyone who satisfied their college language requirement in High School and never used it a single time afterwards.

Dairy Products

2008-02-25T20:42:00.000-06:00

That damn horse will just watch you die

2008-02-09T23:00:00.000-06:00

Are the elephants wild in Russia?

Press "A" for Dance Laser

2008-01-30T18:42:00.000-06:00

I think it's funny when you are playing a video game with somewhat serious subject matter, a game character asks you to press the "A" button, and I can't help but laugh at the existential problems the player character would have when asked to press the "A" button. Press "A" to forget how pressing "A" doesn't jive with the whole anti-terror/alien/robot plot. Your life is a simulation.

I loves Metal Slug so good.

You Are Dangerous

2008-01-29T18:07:00.001-06:00

DIY Peg Mini-Gun - The best free videos are right here

The Last Duet on Earth

2008-01-18T21:03:00.000-06:00

That is not to say that no one has tried music:

Indecision 2X Feature: Garfield

2008-01-17T17:21:00.000-06:00

A Purse is Not Food:

J.D., You Got No Skillz:

Does Shambling Count as Dancing?

2008-01-14T20:30:00.000-06:00

This one makes it in solely on the merit of forwarding the idea of dancing as a defense against zombie attack.

What you may hear as drums is actually tap-dancing, btw.

More Music, More Plot, MORE UGLY

2008-01-05T13:54:00.000-06:00

I think we all remember Kelly's "musical" adventure buying shoes.

It's a whole ugly mythos.

Dance Dance You Concrete Person

2007-12-29T11:03:00.000-06:00

Do you kick everyone who dances for you, jerkass?

This is important information.

2007-12-05T19:49:00.001-06:00

Burning Safari!

2007-12-03T22:53:00.000-06:00

Burning Safari - The best video clips are right here

Professor Kawashima was never so cruel...

2007-12-01T19:58:00.000-06:00

Take the Brainharm Test of Mental Endurance:
(Hint: Click the clock for position -v- countdown.)

00:30 - Tumbleweed Damnation

01:00 - Johannes Kepler -x- Ayn Rand Fan Fiction

01:30 - Stink of the Badger

02:00 - Shoe-gazer

02:30 - Nobel Prize for PowerPoint

03:12 - Fruititative State

It's Puppet Time

2007-11-30T18:21:00.000-06:00

"Galaxy in the groove" - RIP Slyme

Feminine Bunny Sword Rider Flight Contest

2007-11-29T22:25:00.001-06:00

Carrot Rocket Butt Adventure Train Battle

2007-11-28T22:13:00.000-06:00

The Bears' Roadtrip

2007-11-27T20:19:00.000-06:00

"Head Long" - Cube Juice

How Chess is Played

2007-11-19T19:15:00.000-06:00

Wanna buy a ghost?

2007-11-18T22:46:00.000-06:00

Swooping Crushbirds

2007-11-17T22:44:00.000-06:00

We Share Our Mothers' Health - The Knife

Music Rights Revoked: Hungary

2007-11-16T18:08:00.000-06:00

This is not a joke, it is a real person.

Pick Up the Phone

2007-10-12T20:10:00.000-05:00